So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize