I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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