we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
