and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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