There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
