so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
