Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
