"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
