I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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