I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
