Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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