I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize