I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
