Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
