He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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