carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
