I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
