butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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