Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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