No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
not ubering you a puppy
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
