No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
