I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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