That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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