hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
