one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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