Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
