I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
