yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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