Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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