I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
