Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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