I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
