dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
