I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
