Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
