Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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