That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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