I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
