i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
