You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
