If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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