last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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