Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
