they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
