What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she told me i tasted like america
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
