she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
