He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
