did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize