I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
