All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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