Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Reggie can tackle my bush.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
