i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
