..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Blood and glitter go together right?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
A+ Viking dick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
