your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
