Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
