i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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