I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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