he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
