I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
