What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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