Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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