Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
