Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
