Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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