i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
