his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
