How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
