I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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